A Solo Performer Seeks Residency

There is some thing about a daily creative practise that makes me really excited… and gung ho!! Like purposeful, structured writing… slightly controlled, punctual, I don’t want to say contained, but I suppose in a sense there is something really lovely about being able to have a plan and ‘stick to it’…

But then I realise it doesn’t quite work like that. And deep down I know this, I know the messy creative side of my mind, that webs in and out of the rational crevices of my grey and white matter.

I think it comes from the Taurus Moon and Sunrising… that need to feel a sense of control, and the enjoyment of that nice and neatly structured day plan. Make to do lists and tick those mother f**kers off, one by one. But my Sagittarius Sun, pulls me spiralling back down to reality, with a “Umm… Jess, you said you’d write morning pages every day, 30 minutes of writing poetry, 30 minutes of sketching, 30 minutes of reading, daily… you have done 30 minutes of nothing… be creative, let it all go a little, run when you wanna run, kiss that stranger on the tram when you wanna kiss that stranger on the tram, no more of these calculated and precise movements”.

I have been doing my morning pages… to be kind to myself… but I need to let the balance of genuine creativity free fall from finger tips, not tie them up schedules and 300 page guidebooks. My poems are not Ikea furniture, lots of little pieces ready to be assembled in order. My creativity is more like a vomit into a bin (the bin being a computer), or maybe to be nicer to myself once again, my creativity is more like a piece of clay, being moulded and played with, by a young woman, who enjoys the tactility of the moist earthy texture beneath her fingertips.

Maybe words will flow freely, maybe inspiration will jump out at me from behind the taxi’s that park outside my studio wind, maybe I need to let it all go a little, allow me to be me, allow my creativity to do it’s own thing. Let the genius do it’s own work. And I can guide softly.

I have recently begun a solo performance residency with the Victoria University… the above are some musings… 

This entry was posted in Note Book, Solo Performance Residency, Thoughts and feelings and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s